tell me the truth...did you ever love me? [entries|friends|calendar] ivan <3 [ website | my myspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

happy b-day to me [Scribbled On Saturday, March 4th, 2006 @ 12:43pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | "love rollercoaster"- ohio players ] so my b-day was yesterday and... i turned 18 omg thats crazyyyyyyyy i went to school and erin + cathy got me balloons elif bought me a JUMBO hershey bar i love those girls i cut all friendship with caity and koc considering they are grimey and two faced so is the trashy theresa eaves jenn made me a giant card it was cute she is deffo my soulmate she also bought me a tiara, and alyssa got me two packs of mild cigs, aws she remembered i was switching jenn came over and we got ready together ang wasn't feeling good but was a "trooper" ew why did i say that lucas got arrested but still managed to make it to the restaurant (he bought me the book i wanted and dre me pictures on the inside covers) we ended up going to a hooka lounge but the waiter was rude and asked if i was a boy or a girl so we left, plus they didnt have covers for the nozzle. gay bar was 21+ couldnt get in we ended up smoking and drinking and stuffing our faces at my casa but it's all good PARTY TONIGHT =] pics to comeeeeeeeeeeee 4 fallen tearss| Shed Your Tears

[Scribbled On Wednesday, January 25th, 2006 @ 4:15pm] [ mood | nervous ] [ music | "My Innocence"- Lindsay Lohan ] [my name is]: ivan, 1 "n" [in the morning I am]: gross [love is]: unexpected and usually the greatest thing in ones life [if I could see one person right now]: Dave ♥ [I'm afraid of]: failing, losing dave, not going to college W I T H - T H E - O P P O S I T E - S E X ? [what do you notice first?]: i'm not usually looking [last person you slow danced with]: don't remember [worst thing to say]: how much is this gonna be? [tall or short]: dont care, i dun do females W H O ? [makes you laugh the most?]: jenn "nubbi" hamilton [makes you smile]: Dave ♥ [gives you a good funny feeling when you see them]: nubbi [has a crush on you?]: Dave, i'm guessing/hope/wish ha [easier to talk to: boys or girls?]: girls D O - Y O U - E V E R ? [sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to IM you?]: yes, im usually away but im still sitting there [save aol/aim conversations]: yes [cried because of someone saying something to you]: yes H A V E - Y O U - E V E R ? [fallen for your best friend]: 'sgust no [been rejected]: no [used someone]: plenty [been cheated on]: yessss [done something you regret]: alot of things and people haha W H O - W A S - T H E - L A S T - P E R S O N? [You talked to]: my daddy [hugged]: cathy allen [you instant messaged]: brandon [you laughed with]: cathy allen Y O U? [color your hair]: yes [habla espanol]: no, eh a little bit? H A V E - Y O U ? // D O - Y O U ? / / A R E - Y O U? [smoke]: yes // yes // no [obsessive]: yes // yes // yes [could you live without the computer?]: yes // no // no [how many peeps are on you buddy list?]: 92 [what's your favorite food?]: coffee [whats your favorite fruit?]: cherries [which hurts the most, physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional [trust others way too easily?]: nope FIRSTS [first real memory]: falling down the stairs and cutting my lip haha [first car]: hasn't happened yet [first date]: brandon at the west hempstead school play [first real break-up]: brandon at the billiards i think [first job]: haven't had one yet [first screen name]: drclaw dont remember the number that followed [first self-purchased album]: amber [first funeral]: my principal [first pet]: duke my late german shepard [first piercing]: munroe [first big trip]: honduras [first concert]: christina aguilera and justin timberlake [first music you remember hearing in your house]: lion king, ew LASTS [last cigarette]: around 1 p.m. [last car ride]: this morning for my exam [last kiss]: day before new years eve ='[ [last good cry]: a few days ago [last movie seen]: cursed [last swear word uttered]: shit [last beverage drank]: water [last food consumed]: coffee [last crush]: david [last phone call]: berkley college [last tv show watched]: flist [last time showered]: last night [last cd played]: love.angel.music.baby [last item bought]: graduated beads [last annoyance]: sean paul being blasted in the next room whil i was trying to nap [last disappointment]: dave being grounded and not being allowed to talk to me [last time wanting to die]: a few days ago [last time yelled at]: yesterday [last shirt worn]: rolling stones band tee H A V E - Y O U - E V E R ? [pictured your crush naked?]: i have and still do [actually seen your crush naked]: not yet =] [been in love]: Currently [cried when someone died]: yes [drank alcohol]: yes [lied]: yes F I N A L - Q U E S T I O N S ? [i want]: a cig [i love]: my boyfriend, friends, life [i miss]: dave & marvin [i fear]: losing dave and not getting accepted to AIB [i hear]: lindsay lohan ♥ [i wonder]: how much i weigh? Shed Your Tears

representin' the struggle [Scribbled On Thursday, January 19th, 2006 @ 12:51pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | "Rubberband Man"- T.I. ] home sick... again i hate this, i've been sick since friday... that's almost a week... yuck yesterday was annoying cheverino called my house and said if i didnt have my artwork in by today that she was gonna fail me so i had to stay up till almost 2 (as sick as i am) and do ALL OF IT, you would think she's cut me slack but nope. me and karen started talking, this made me happy, b/c i was upset to lose someone i had been so close with :'[ we had a in depth conversation about alot of things going on hopefully we can fix the unecessary drama going on. i miss dave i really wanna see him but it's hard with regents/midterm week going on but first chance i get i'm hopping a bus to boston and seeing him i love him so much :/ nick's master plan went into effect yesterday it's a waste of his own "precious" time considering dave hates him and would never even start to consider choosing him over me. that boy has to let go of his hate and move on with his life i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I DID (i hate caps and for me to use them says something) whatever, im going to jersey for the weekend to stay with my crazy aunt leslie :] she has me and daves first kiss pictures that i've been dying to get back she is alos getting my hair done!! she's the best aunt anyways more to come later assholes should learn to comment ♥ 5 fallen tearss| Shed Your Tears

stolen from sara chin [Scribbled On Tuesday, January 17th, 2006 @ 10:40am] when was the last time you really cried your heart out? - a few days ago ever cried yourself to sleep? - yes, plenty of times ever cried on your friend's shoulder? - yeah ever cried over the opposite sex? - no do you cry when you get an injury? - no, depends on the injury i guess do songs make you cry? - sometimes h a p p y section are you normally a happy person? - yessss what can make you happy? - dave ♥, my friends, shopping, music do you wish you were happier - i'm the happiest i've been in a while what makes you the happiest? - dave [♥] is being happy overrated? - not AT ALL l o v e section how many times have you had your heart broken? - once or twice do you still have feelings for any of your old significant other? - nope have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them? - yes did you ever love a guy/girl, tell them that, and only got 'thanks' back? - no has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you? - yes ♥ h a t e section who do you actually hate? - daves mom and stepdad, my mom (somteimes), nick matuza, justin rupert, gabrielle, latasha, loretto, hesther, amanda and jaymie have you ever been on a hit list? - most likely haha are you a mean bully? - yes, to the ppl i hate do you hate anyone that breaks your heart? - yes do you hate George Bush? - i hope he chokes on a cock s e l f - e s t e e m section is your self-esteem extremely low? - yes do you believe in yourself? - sometimes, not usually who was the last person to say you were pretty/hot/etc? - dave ♥ ever wanted to kill yourself because you thought you werent good enough? - used to Are you happy with who you are? - no do you wish you can be someone else? - no L//O/O/K/ /A/T/ /M/E/ x Whats your natural hair color? - light brown x What is your current hair color? - black x What color are your eyes? - brown x Current Piercings? - monroe x Long or Short Hair? - medium length i guess x Straight or Curly? - straight, curly roots ha /C/U/R/R/E/N/T/L/Y/ W/E/A/R/I/N/G x What shirt are you wearing? black v-neck over a black button up x shorts/pants/ are you wearing? - blue jeans x Rings? - no x Braclets? - black beads with a curcifix and virgin mary x Is your hair up or down? - up and pulled back /T/H/I/S/ O/R/ /T/H/A/T/ Rock or Rap? - rap Coffee or Hot Cocoa? - coffee. Baseball or Softball? - baseball Wild Night out or Romantic Night in? - romantic night in Chocolate or Vanilla? - vanilla. Bracelet or Necklace? - necklace Pink or Purple - pink. History or Science - history Sleep in or Early to rise? - sleep in. Beach or Boardwalk? - boardwalk [dave doesnt like sand] Hoodie or Tee Shirt? - hoodie. Night Or Day? - night. love or fun? - love. California or Florida? - california. Simple Plan or Good Charlotte? - simple plan Love at first sight or Learn to Love? - love at first sight Babe or Baby? - baby /H/A/V/E/ Y/O/U/ E/V/E/R/ Kissed the opposite sex? - yes. Kissed the same Sex? - yes Hugged someone? - yeah. Been on the phone until the sun came up? - yes Put a song on repeat for more than 2 hours? - haha yeah im a loser like that Gone Skinny dipping? - yes Laughed so hard you pissed in your pants? - ew haha pretty damn close /T/H/E/ L/A/S/T/ person you talked to in person? - lauren Person you talked to online? - mikafus person you talked to on the phone? - dave last time you had a shower? - last afternoon /R/A/N/D/O/M/ Do you like surveys? - when im bored Do you ever wonder what your life will be like 10 years down the road? - yes you get along with your parents? - no Are you old enough to vote? - no. Are you happy? - yessm. Are you sad? - a little you have mental breakdowns? - when times get really tough Did you ever tell your parents you didn't feel good so you didn't have to go to school? - yes, who hasn't? Do you have a cell phone: - yeah. ============================================ Current Mood? - stuffy Current Music? - lindsay lohan Current Hair? - pulled back with a puff on top'ish? Current Annoyance? - my nose Current Longing? - college applications that ang was suppoused to do with me Current Thing I Ought To Be Doing? - eating Current desktop picture? - jesse metcalf (it's alexis's) Current Favorite Music? - everything Current Favorite Book? - none Current CD In Stereo? - a little more personal Shed Your Tears

blows [Scribbled On Tuesday, January 17th, 2006 @ 10:37am] [ mood | sick ] [ music | "I Live For the Day"- Lindsay Lohan ] i have the flu it blows and i walked ALL THE WAY to school thinking the english midterm was today and... it wasn't i felt like a retard home now watching clue peaceeeeeeeee ♥ Shed Your Tears

back [Scribbled On Thursday, January 12th, 2006 @ 4:29pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | "Kryptonite"- Big Boi featurin Purple Ribbon All Stars ] i turned back to my livejournal havent written in this in forevskies moms on vaca so cut school tried sleeping but cathy sent me a text so went out to lunch with her, justin and frank mcdonalds some nasty gypsy looking janitor was grilling me MAD HARD so we left her a heart made out of pepper on the table justin ran over franks watch... ha came home drove around with justin and cathy almost fell asleep gonna nap now i think peaceeeeeeeeeee ♥ Shed Your Tears

fill out pretty please <3 [Scribbled On Tuesday, January 10th, 2006 @ 6:50pm] [ mood | full ] [ music | L.O.V.E - Ashlee Simpson ] BASIC 1. name: 2. birthday: 3. place of residence: 4. what makes you happy: 5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last: 6. do you read my lj: 7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it: 8. an interesting fact about you: 9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment: 10. favorite place to be: 11. favorite lyric: 12. best time of the year: RECOMMEND 1. a film: 2. a book: 3. a band: 4. a song: 5. an album: ++ 1. one thing you like about me: 2. two things you like about yourself: 3. post a picture of yourself. 4. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you. 4 fallen tearss| Shed Your Tears

stolen from alex fisher [Scribbled On Thursday, August 25th, 2005 @ 2:13pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | "To Know Your Name"- Lindsay Lohan ] Goth-- Do you wear black eyeliner?: yes Do you own any black clothing?: yes Do you think about death often?: no Do you want to die?: no Are you a social outcast?: no Are you pale?: no Do you like Hot Topic?: once in a while Total YES: 2 1/2 --Skater Punk-- Can you skateboard?: no Do you wear Vans?: yes Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?: yes Do you listen to punk bands: yes Do you have any piercings?: yes Do you wear mohawks?: no Total YES: 4 --Prep-- Do you say the word "like": yes Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch?: yes Are the A&F models hot?: no Rock music is bad, right?: no Do you want to be in a sorority/fraternity?: never Into jocks/popular girls?: no Are/were you a cheerleader?: no Total YES: 2 --Hippie-- Is your hair long?: no Are you a vegetarian?: yes Do you own a tye dye shirt?: no Do you want peace?: yes Do you want to save the animals? yes Do you think the war is unneccesary?: yes Total YES: 4 --Gangsta-- Are you from the ghetto?: no Do you own "bling bling"?: no Do you wear do-rags?: no Do you like hip-hop?: yes Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?: No Do you like afros?: no Have you ever said 'fo shizzle'?: yes Total YES: 2 --Emo-- Do you cry often?: yes Do you have an acoustic guitar?: no Are you emotional?: yes Do you like soft music: yes Do people not understand you?: no Do you write your own songs?: no Is your hair dyed dark? no Do you cut?: no Total YES: 3 --Jock-- you play sports? no Are they important to you?: no Do you pick on the geeky kids?: no Do you like football?: no Were you considered a bully by anyone?: no was the person you bullied a total dork?: no Total YES: 0 --Surf Bum-- Do you surf?: no Do you wear flip flops year-round?: yes Is your hair shaggy?: no Do you wake up at 6 or before every morning?: no Do you own any pairs of shorts?: no Are you tan?: yes Total YES: 2 --Geek-- Do you wear glasses?: no Do you get good grades? yes Do you use an inhaler?: yes Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets? no Are you on the computer often?: Yes Do you ever get picked on?: yes Total YES: 4 this thing totally sucked theend. 7 fallen tearss| Shed Your Tears

yo [Scribbled On Tuesday, August 9th, 2005 @ 1:16pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | "Don't Speak" - No Doubt ] yo havent updated this in forever nick is sleeping over :] and gabi should be coming over soon!! we're gonna go to the mall and we all gonna look snazzy. show on thursday with caity benseeennnnnn and friday staying over my dads with anna and reggie ♥ bfgbfhdbhf i finally got my celly back it was dead for ages and i got my pink and black vans i made friends in town holler well thats about all for now iLovenicklikewhoa 2 fallen tearss| Shed Your Tears

[Scribbled On Monday, July 4th, 2005 @ 3:54pm] [ mood | busy ] Happy 4 of July kiddies ♥♥♥ 1 fallen tears| Shed Your Tears

chinese foo [Scribbled On Wednesday, June 29th, 2005 @ 1:18am] [ mood | melancholy ] [ music | "Sugar, We're Going Down"- Fall Out Boy ] hokay here is how it goes certain ppl have been cut from my friends list for certain reasons so this will be a public post... why? b/c i felt like it anyways im mad tired night <3 i love nick matuza more than anyone and anything <3 city this friday!! <3 mall con amanda <3 making plans to hang with anna when i visit my daddy nick made me the greatest effin card in the whole world and i scanned it! it will make an appearance in my next entry along with my mini vaca 2 fallen tearss| Shed Your Tears

goodbye [Scribbled On Thursday, May 5th, 2005 @ 10:45am] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | - ] Hello all well this is going to be my final livejournal entry im surprised it even lasted this long no one seems to update or read anymore and it's not like i have anything really good to write about anymore i mean i've become something that i never wanted to become i hurt my friends by putting my bf before them my bf began to doubt his feelings for me in the end i will be alone i guess it's a fair trade everyone has a happy ending except me so goodbye maybe one day i'll turn to this to write my feelings until then i'll keep them to myself ~ivan 5 fallen tearss| Shed Your Tears

[Scribbled On Thursday, February 24th, 2005 @ 5:36pm] 20 fallen tearss| Shed Your Tears

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